and she shines for me

r/relationships • 3 hr. ago

myburnerisready

My (27f) boss (84m) has a thing for me???

Hi Everyone, just need to vent about this somewhere. I don't know if it's venting, really. You'll probably tell me I have a great gig here and I should put up with it. Anyway, I was working as a barista a while ago and I got suckered into getting coffee for the old guy who lives above the coffee shop. The girl who did it before moved on and I guess it's just a regular thing that somebody brings him his coffee every day.

He offered me a stupid amount of money to bring him his daily coffee and just sit and listen to him. Although I do more than listen. I think he's nuts, senile maybe. He makes up wild stories. I don't mind, they're entertaining sometimes. What I get paid to do this is crazy. I'm not complaining about the money. It's embarrassing to even say how much it is.

Anyway, this has been going fine, except I think he might have a thing for me. The age difference makes me wanna barf when I think about it, but when I say he's 84 he's like, a hot 84. Not so hot I'd go there, but still hot. But it kinda creeps me out that he would even think of me that way. He's old enough to be my great-grandfather or something.

I probably seem stupid and entitled and ungrateful for complaining about this. I just want to find a way to tell him to back off without losing this job. I really need the money. Or I really want the money, I mean. It's too good to pass up. I just want it without putting up with his creepy old man behavior. What should I do?

UPDATE: Look, his wild stories are about how he's a time traveler from the future who used to command a spaceship and he's been hanging out in the past to "make a better future." Only according to him, he's given up on that so he's just passing his knowledge on to someone like me. I told you all it was crazy stuff. Thanks for the advice, though. I think I'll politely deflect and be firmer with him if he tries to push things. He's not a bad guy at all, those of you who said he needs to see clear boundaries are right. I'm sure he'll respond well to that. :)

• drsexology this is fake, right?
• ccc_bccc maybe dont ruin a good thing dummy
• arcxiv I think you need to consider just how badly you need/want this money. Is it worth your self-respect?
  • lovemesarah who needs self-respect when you have cold, hard cash?
• NTimDT This whole situation is super sus. Where does he get all this money from? It sounds like he lives in some apartment above a coffee shop so he can't be doing that great. Do you know any of his friends or family? Can anyone vouch for his income? Also, if you think he's got dementia he may not be fully aware of what he's doing. I ask about the family and friends situation because they might accuse you of taking advantage of him, if he's actually not all there.
  • myburnerisready OP here, he says he made his money from investments, and I largely believe that. He doesn't have friends that I know of. His family situation is complicated. The idea that he's senile is just my speculation. It's really not obvious. He doesn't forget things or anything like that. He's just. Very imaginative.
• ImpassionateDevils001 Whatever you, don't date this man. It sounds like your employment arrangement is highly informal. I assume he pays you under the table, in cash. You will 100% blow this up if you take it beyond an employment arrangement. Set a firm boundary: this is a business relationship. You're a courier and a friendly ear, nothing more. Be totally clear with him that inappropriate comments won't be tolerated. With as much as you say he's paying you, he needs you more than you need him. The person who was doing this before you "moved on" for a reason. You didn't specify, but was she a young woman, too?
  • myburnerisready OP here, the girl who did this before me was about my age, yeah. She didn't formally quit, she just stopped showing up. She was actually still working at the coffee shop while taking him his coffee and helping him out sometimes. She "got sick" and called out of work but never really came back. Last I heard, she didn't want anything to do with the coffee shop or the old guy, but I don't think it had to do with anyone in particular.
    • ImpassionateDevils001 OK, that's a lot of red flags. If you don't know why your predecessor left, but it was under uncertain circumstances, you should seriously consider whether you want to find out how bad this can get. Money is one thing but your safety and dignity should be more important.
      • myburnerisready Yeah but it's a LOT of money.
• Galen44 Take the money and string him along as long as possible IMO. Get paid, girl!
• rehro i'm curious about these stories he tells, you willing to share? you used a burner account after all
  • coltsfan82 Seriously! I bet that's the real scoop here.
  • quandarymeme Seconded? Thirderd? Tell us!