He's dead, you piece of shit!
Who?
You know exactly who!!
I don't, actually.
Denny.
Denny?
My fiancee, dumbass!
Oh.
Yeah. "Oh."
I'm... really sorry.
You haven't even started to be sorry. This isn't a fucking apology.
Why are you angry with me?
Duh! Aren't you a fucking time traveler? Don't you know the fucking future? You're telling me you had no idea he would die like this?
I told you, I haven't had access to any time travel equipment in several years.
What about the fucking Director?? Or is he even real?
He's real enough, but I don't get to decide when he contacts me. Truly, I'm so sorry. I know you're upset--
Goddamn right I'm upset! I should have listened to him. I should have...
Look, you're really raw right now. When did this happen?
Last night.
Jesus. Why are you even here? This is work. You don't need to work right now.
Don't tell me what I need, you bastard.
You didn't come here to work, Brynn. You came here because you wanted a friend.
Fuck you.
But I'm right, aren't I? I'm not someone you just come and listen to for money. Maybe that's the original pretext, but that's not what's happening now. You want someone to comfort you and--
Stop telling me what I want!
You're right, I don't really know what you want. I just know that you're here and you don't need to be. You could be anywhere. You could be with anyone. Of all the people in the world, you chose to come here. To see me. All I'm saying is that it must be for a reason.
...
I'm so sorry. There aren't enough apologies in the world for this. May I ask what happened?
The stupidest fucking thing. A stupid fucking delivery truck driver wasn't watching where he was going and jumped the curb. And that was just... it. He was done. I mean, they took him to the hospital, and they tried, but there was just so much bleeding, and...
I understand. I understand. I'm sorry, Brynn. Not that it's any comfort, but these things just... happen.
Well, you're right that it's not a fucking comfort.
All I mean is, things happen in life and they don't have a reason. People spend their whole lives looking for reasons, and when they come up empty they think it's just because they haven't looked hard enough. So they keep looking, and looking, and looking, until they've wasted their whole life chasing something that can't be found in the first place, because it doesn't exist.
You are the last fucking person to be talking about this shit.
Yeah, I deserve that. You know how long it took me to realize I wasted my whole life? I only figured it out a couple years ago. What a headfuck. I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did. You may not have a time machine or anything, but you can just as easily trap yourself with him forever, and you don't have to. You do have to grieve. I'm not saying not to do that. We all have to do that. God knows I've had to grieve a shit ton in my life. Lives? You don't want to hear that you'll move past it, and that's OK. I can say that you won't feel like this forever, and you won't believe me, and that's OK, too.
Why the hell are you saying all this shit?
Well, you're crying all over my jacket, for one thing. I have to say something.
Your fucking problem is that you can't sit in discomfort. You always have to be acting. You always have to be doing something. That's your whole fucking life, isn't it? Doing without thinking. Or more importantly, doing without feeling. You never let yourself feel, not really. You see how I am right now? This is what feeling is like. It fucking sucks, it fucking hurts, I fucking hate it, but what am I supposed to do? I can't be like you and just shut it off when people die. God, you've killed how many people? So you say. You just talk about it so casually, like it's nothing.
Everybody dies, Brynn.
Shut the fuck up. I know that. But everyone was somebody. Everyone meant something to someone. And you'd just kill them like it didn't matter.
For my purposes, it didn't matter.
Your purposes. Always your fucking purposes.
I don't see what this has to do with Denny.
It has everything to do with him, you stupid fuck ass! He's dead and you're sitting here with all your, "Oh, everybody dies, Brynn! Life doesn't matter! Feelings aren't important! Only making the future right matters!" You ever listen to yourself? You delusional old piece of shit! You never fucking time traveled. You never met any fucking aliens. You're not from the fucking future. You're just some sad, lonely only man with too much money and nothing to do. I took this job because I felt fucking sorry for you. I also needed the money. I won't lie about that. Honestly, I still need it. But I can't fucking do this, man. I can't. I can't sit here and let you act like death is nothing, especially not when it's staring me in the fucking face right now.
Death is not "nothing" to me, you know. Remember what I told you? It's my shadow. The blanket I cover myself up with. I don't avoid death. Death is on me all the time. It's always on my mind. There's no two ways about that. At a certain point, you just get comfortable with it. That doesn't mean losing people becomes easy, but starting to understand it better makes a little easier to find peace. And that's all we ever really get in this life: a chance to find peace. It's so easy to find violence, hatred, death, destruction. That's everywhere. Peace is elusive. We're all just looking for a little bit of it. And I'm sorry you've been robbed of yours. I know he meant a lot to you.
You don't know shit. Stop trying to speak logic to me.
This is about as emotionally available as I get, so drink it in. You can say I don't know how you feel, but you know I do. You know I carry that with me every day. You know it haunts me. And if there's anything I want for you... it's not that. I don't want you trapped in your memories, in your misery, with the ghosts of who you lost. It's a nightmare. You don't want to get used to living in a nightmare. It fucks you up. Look at me. Would you call me well-adjusted?
Hell no.
Exactly. So, maybe listen to me on just this one thing? I don't care if you think I'm legit or not. I don't care if you think I made everything up. You see a man my age, you know I've seen loss. Lots of it. There's no escape. For this to happen to you so young, I just... I don't know what to say. Just that I hope you don't let it rule you forever.
Goddammit. I hate you talking sense to me. Fuck you.
It's working, though.
Don't push it!
Sorry. Are you talking to anyone about what you're going through? Besides me.
I tried to talk to Denny's parents. They're too heartbroken for words. I get it. They knew him a lot longer than me. My parents tried to console me but they were hurt, too. They really liked him. They looked forward to us getting married. Giving them grandkids, probably. Now they see that whole future going up in smoke. Like, everybody has their own selfish fucking perspective on it. I don't know. I'm probably being unfair.
Everybody feels it in their own way, you've got that right. It's not about whose hurt is greater or lesser. You're all hurting. Sometimes it's hard for people hurting this much to come together over it. It's easier just to isolate. But nobody is really stronger alone, are they?
I guess not. But what am I supposed to say to them? I want them to comfort me, dammit. Maybe it's selfish. I just want it.
Selfish isn't the same as wrong. You clearly need comforting. I'm here, too.
Come on. You?
Who else do you have right now?
God, I'm such a sad little idiot. A real loser.
Brynn.
Robert.
You don't need to mock me. You came here to find a friend, not an employer. So, I'm being your friend.
Maybe I don't want a friend, either.
Then what do you want?
I want Denny back, obviously! Jesus.
You know what I mean. What do you want that you can actually have?
It's stupid.
Try me.
It's fucking stupid!
Life is stupid, if you ask me. We're stuck with it anyway.
Stop trying to make me laugh.
You do have a nice laugh, though. I'd definitely miss it if it was gone a long time.
Oh my god. You're seriously flirting with me right now??
I wouldn't dream of it. Denny's not even cold yet. I'll wait at least a couple weeks before making a move.
Robert! Oh my god. Why am I laughing at this shit? I must be deranged.
You've been spending too much time around me, is all.
You got that right. Jesus. I'm a real piece of work. Maybe Denny is better off.
Wow, that's a different direction. Let's turn that car around. Let's get back to "Brynn is grieving and Robert is trying to be a good friend to her."
I hate that you got me to stop crying.
I have no doubt you'll cry some more later.
Jesus Christ. Stop making me laugh!
But it feels nice, doesn't it?
Yeah. I don't want it to, though. I want to feel bad.
No, you think you're supposed to feel bad. Which, a lot of the time, you will. For a while. But that doesn't mean it has to be all the time. You can have moments of light in the darkness. It's fine. You're not betraying him or something. He wouldn't want you to suffer for the rest of your life, would he?
No. I guess not.
Then it's fine to laugh. It's fine to feel good.
I do kind of want to feel good. I don't know.
That's OK. It's OK to want that. Have some ice cream. I don't know.
I don't want ice cream.
Then what do you want? ... Oh.
What?
I mean. Really?
You really need to shut up.